


I'm Sorry But I fell in Love Tonight

by ambroseashley



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Depression, Halsey - Freeform, I love it a lot, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, One Night Stand, Phanfiction, Songfic, Therapy, i put so much effort into it, it would be great if this fic would win in phonic award
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 12:14:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5333723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambroseashley/pseuds/ambroseashley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a one night stand, now, looking back, it could've been so much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Sorry But I fell in Love Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> im proud of this tbh

> _I’m sorry but I fell in love tonight, I didn’t mean to fall in love tonight. You’re looking like you fell in love tonight. Could we pretend that we’re in love?_

~

**i.**

I’m sitting here, and you’re gone. It was a one night stand. And I shouldn’t have let myself love you, I shouldn’t have let you become more than a stranger.  I shouldn’t be here alone. I shouldn’t be letting you take over my mind.

_You were dancing in your tube socks in our hotel room_

_Flashing those eyes like highway signs._

And the way you would laugh, the way you would care, the way we were more than strangers for a night. You would dance, you would make me feel more than I am. You would dance, and you would show me how, you would love me and make me feel good, and not in the way of skin against skin, in the way were I had a reason to live, and in those       nights            you would have an aura and an infectious smile. And in that city, where we both didn’t belong, all I looked forward to was       your              breath and kisses, your smooth hands that could clear my skin and soft cuddles. On those nights, in those moments, you were all I thought about. I left you and were gone, and there I was, a one night stand, no family, no lover. Just the faint and precious              memories             of you stuck in my brain.

_Light one up and hand it over, rest your head upon my shoulder._

_I just want to feel your lips against my skin._

**ii.**

I dream about you sometimes, how we could have been more than we are. I’m stuck in the past, thinking of all the possibilities of our relationship. I have your number in my phone. You said to call if I needed a lift home or maybe a little bit of ‘stress taken off your shoulders.’ You poked your tongue out after you giggled, like you always did. You were immature sometimes, you would tickle me in the mornings. You would wake me with ticklish kisses and dancing fingers along my almost dirty skin- you wouldn’t care though. You wouldn’t care how filthy I was, you would always be there, for me. I want your caring and lovable nature back. I want                        you                        back. I wanted to feel your breath and kisses again, to feel worth something other than a lonely individual.

_White sheets, bright lights, crooked teeth and the night life._

_You told me this is right were it begins. But your lips hang heavy, underneath me._

**iii.**

_And I promised myself I wouldn’t let you complete me._

It was just sex, that’s how it started. Lust and the universal feeling of being lost that brought us together, which made us, which made us think of how similar we were, that made me think of what we could have made together. On the second night, on the third, I saw the patterns forming, the traces of calm and pleasing fingers that made there way up my arms when I wanted cuddles more than sex, I saw I was getting attached. And I ignored it, I ignored the feelings for this boy. I went back two nights later. Again and again. He seemed happy that I was there, he always made room for me, and it felt like               love.                        It felt like he wanted it too.

_I’m trying not to let show, that I don’t want to let this go. Is there somewhere you can meet me?_

And after a few more nights, after a few drinks, after morning sex and cuddles. I had to leave, leave this peaceful world of sin and warm skin. I had to leave you, I had to go back to the place where I didn’t belong. _‘Can you come with me?’_ I didn’t want you to know how much I feel for you, how much I need you. I never told I would never come back. I left you with your little loving family that didn’t know what you got up to in the after hours of the night. Before you knew it I was gone, I left you without the ‘splash of colour’ that was so called our relationship. I knew it would hurt, but I never thought that I could hurt others by refraining myself.

_Cause I clutched your arms like stairway railings. And you clutched my brain, and eased my ailing._

_Your writing lines ‘bout me, romantic poetry. Your girl’s got red in her cheeks, ‘cause we’re something she can’t see._

**iv.**

I didn’t know I would hurt you, I didn’t know after a while you would text back. I didn’t know you would become desperate, you loved me and I didn’t see that. Even the various texts of ‘come back’ and ‘where did u go?’ ‘want to meet up tonight?’ didn’t show me that you cared or that you wanted it too. It hurt when texted me or called. I never answered except for that one time where you told me you were depressed. I never called back. I never did so many things that would have clearly made us, _us_. I never even thought you cared. I was selfish and thought only for me. You told me on that one phone call that your parents knew what you got up to, and the therapist knew about me. I didn’t ask why they did, I completely ignored you and rambling, I tried not to book a ticket to fly myself over to your warm arms and heal you. I never asked myself what was stopping me, all I knew that it would be hard and hard was off limits, just like Phil.

_And I try to refrain, but you’re stuck in my brain. And all I do is cry and complain, because second’s not the same._

Years later, I still miss you. I still want you. I still remember the weeks I spent in Los Angeles. I never knew what happened to you. I never called back. I deleted your number off of my phone, but your number, your face, your smell, I still remember it all. And I remember how stupid I was for not trying to save you. And as I sit here, with a wife and a little kid running around, I remember that you’re gone. And you’ll never come back. And if I could have one last night with you, I would’ve said it back. I would’ve said I loved you.

**v.**

_I’m sorry but I fell in love tonight, I didn’t mean to fall in love tonight. You’re looking like you fell in love tonight. Could we pretend that we’re in love?_

“Dan?” Phil whispered. He expected for Dan to turn around, for him to be happy, he expected him to answer properly instead of with a quiet mummer of ‘yes?’ “I love you.”

_I’m sorry but I fell in love tonight, I didn’t mean to fall in love tonight. You’re looking like you fell in love tonight. Could we pretend that we’re in love?_

~


End file.
